INBOX 🎤 prismatica

[grylls]

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((ooc: nice coding tbd)

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Re: I didn't forget this thread I was just figuring out how to reply to this masterpiece

[grylls]

You broke into my home. You set off multiple traps and persisted. An intruder doesn't have the right to declare someone crazy.

[ Quite fortunately, Riou does not eat people. Yan Qing is actually perfectly safe right now, but it's good to know that his set up is working plenty fine. ]

Though I am Crazy M.

[ So he won't deny it. ] Who are you?

[killful]

[He squints at how Riou's name is absolutely ridiculous when juxtaposed against a situation like this, but you know what? He's not going to fight it. He still feels like he'd die if he did.]

Urk... I guess you got a point there. Call me Shin.

[Real names aren't important right now. What he wants to do is get out.]

Anything important I gotta worry about, uh, Crazy M?

[grylls]

[ Either of Riou's hands move to Yan Qing's wrist, pushing down on them slightly as if to emphasize that Yan Qing is the one trapped here. He's not in the position to be asking questions. ]

You have gall, breaking into a soldier's home.

[ He lowers his face so he's eye-to-eye with the intruder. ]

Why?

[killful]

[As someone who tends to forget his place and run his mouth? He totally deserved that. It doesn't hurt, but Yan Qing winces and grits his teeth, leaning away from Riou back into his seat. Thank god he didn't transform into Riou to get past the traps... That would have been way more difficult to talk himself out of.]

Woah, easy! I just wanted to do a background check. You know? I, uh...

["Have trust issues and am nosy by nature," but he can't say that. Quick, play dumb.]

I get nervous around hot guys.

[...]

My last boyfriend was super hot and tried to kill me.

[grylls]

Why are you trying to do a background check on me?

[ Hot?? Boyfriend????? Riou is very confused right now. In fact, the expression on his face is rather like a certain math meme for a moment before he figures it out. ]

Are you the person I was speaking to online? The professional eater.

[ Professional B&E artist is more like it.. ]

[killful]

[Because he has trust issues and being a spy is part of the job. What job? That depends on when he asks. Thankfully, the topic changes before it comes up.]

That's right, that's right! Ahhh, for a second I thought you were having me for lunch — in ways more than one! [shut up yan qing]

[grylls]

[ After a few more seconds of silent contemplation, Riou reaches for a hunting knife in his boot without explanation. He leans in, slowly holding the knife toward Yan Qing and then...

Turning it around to cut the restraints off. ]

I don't eat human meat. You should be more careful whose home you break into.

1/2

[killful]

[ This is it. He didn't want to have to kill anybody in a relatively peaceful world like this one, but he thinks he just might have to. Yan Qing clenches his fists. Riou's a big guy, so there's no way he cam make this look like an accident. But if he wants to make it alive and return to Chaldea's side, then— ]

[killful]

Huh?

[ He stares at the man, dumbfounded. This is a trap, isn't it? ]

Uh, are you sure? Is that something you should be saying? I'm a pretty shady guy, haha.

[grylls]

Do you have shady intentions or did you come to eat?

[ Pick one. He'll tie Yan Qing back up if that's what he wants. ]